Finding the strength to move around in a new place is difficult. It’s much easier to lay, inert on a bed. Or, if you’re me lately, the front porch couch.
The problem is, it’s hard to make new friends. What a sad sounding truth. But it is! You can’t just walk up to people on the street and ask, “Will you be my friend?” Because you will look like a crazy person. You will look desperate.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s better to be lonely than look desperate.
To survive in a new town you have to be able to do a couple of things:
1. Cultivate the ability to be alone with yourself a lot. It’s harder than it sounds. When was the last time you hung out with yourself for a week? Exactly.
2. Cultivate hobbies that take you out of the house but don’t necessarily require a social partner. For example: bike riding, shopping, yoga.
3. Be willing to hang out with whatever friend of a friend you can connect with, even though it’s awkward and exhausting to always be in “meet new people” mode
I’ve managed to pull off all three more-or-less gracefully. I’m totally comfortable inside my head at the moment, my calf muscles have never been tighter, my half-moon pose is amazing AND tonight I even have a friend date.
But here’s the thing: we’ve been friends on MySpace for four years, but we’ve never met.
Is that weird? It’s totally weird! I feel like it’s way more socially acceptable to find new people to sleep with than it is to find new friends via the internet.
But I’m not sure why. I’ve talked to this girl a ton, she even helped me with a big project that scored major brownie points when I was an intern at that magazine I worked for in DC. Maybe people do this all the time and I just need to step into the millennium? I don’t know.
I do think it’s at least one step above accosting strangers on the street.
Right?
2 Comments
July 19, 2008 at 2:40 am
You need to start your new job! Everything will be better.
Funny, I’m getting ready to blog about a friend date, too — Sophie has her first playdate under the new mandate-to-find-Sophie-4-year-olds to play with.
Hope yours goes well!
July 19, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Isn’t that the whole point of moving somewhere new? If you’re not uncomfortable, you’re not growing.
Hardly anyone seems able to enjoy their own company these days. If a person is alone, she is on the phone or texting or on MySapce. Co-dependency has extended past actual human contact to cybercontact. What about just knowing how to “be?” Nothing wrong with friends, we all need them. But IMHO you should be your own best one.