Between my mother and the election, I forgot to write. Actually, that’s not true at all. I didn’t forget. I was kind of afraid to.
Afraid because, number one, I could feel myself turning into kind of a wingnut over the election and I didn’t want to subject anyone (even the very few readers of this blog) to MORE wingnuttiness. Simultaneously, I could feel myself slowly losing it over my mom’s accident, and I didn’t want to subject anyone to the liveblog of my inevitable breakdown.
I guess even in the age of the overshare, there are times when privacy matters. Even in this Prozac (or in my case, Lexapro) nation, there times when depression isn’t even interesting to the person experiencing it.
I was afraid secondly because, I have to admit: I miss writing and this blog only reminds me of that.
It’s true that I love my new job — advocacy is fulfilling and ,surprisingly, community organizing was a natural fit. In many ways, I think it’s fair to say I feel called to the work I do now. And, I suppose the proof is in the results I’ve gotten so far. But it’s also true that there’s this cynical, anti-everything, wants-to-get-drunk-by-night-and-snoop-around-by-day, part of me that feels neglected.
It’s that wild, angry side. It’s that, “I don’t give a fuck” side that I can no longer really indulge, a fact which makes me, at times, achingly lonely.
1 Comment
November 28, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Hey, it’s kind of weird, we hardly know each other, but I missed you! I was excited to see a new post in my reader.
Hope you find a way to take care of all parts of you…Oh and keep in touch.