Leaving Arizona today felt like a betrayal. Kissing my mom goodbye, I felt like I was abandoning her. Saying, “Thanks for always being there for me no matter what, but now that you’re about to start the hardest part of your life so far, I’m going to go back to the new one I’m building 1,300 miles away.”
I know this is silly. She told me to go back to my life, I’m flying back to see her in two weeks and she is by no means alone. But, still.
You know the part in “Terms of Endearment” when the daughter dies and the mom loses her shit and is all, “I’m so stupid, I thought it would be easier when she wasn’t in pain” or whatever she says? That’s how I felt at the airport today. I thought it would be easier when she was at least awake. I’m so stupid.
As I was waiting for my ride home from the airport tonight a girl around my age pulled up to the curb to pick up her mom. Her mom was talking to her before the door even opened. They hugged for a long, long, long time. It reminded me of what I’m so far away from and made me really sad.
It also reminded me that I am so, so lucky. I will never take my mom for granted again.
Tonight, I’ll have to settle for sleeping in her clothes and praying for her safety.
Hug your mamma’s tonight guys.