I swear, I’ll stop it soon

Leaving Arizona today felt like a betrayal. Kissing my mom goodbye, I felt like I was abandoning her. Saying, “Thanks for always being there for me no matter what, but now that you’re about to start the hardest part of your life so far, I’m going to go back to the new one I’m building 1,300 miles away.”

I know this is silly. She told me to go back to my life, I’m flying back to see her in two weeks and she is by no means alone. But, still.

You know the part in “Terms of Endearment” when the daughter dies and the mom loses her shit and is all, “I’m so stupid, I thought it would be easier when she wasn’t in pain” or whatever she says? That’s how I felt at the airport today. I thought it would be easier when she was at least awake. I’m so stupid.

As I was waiting for my ride home from the airport tonight a girl around my age pulled up to the curb to pick up her mom. Her mom was talking to her before the door even opened. They hugged for a long, long, long time. It reminded me of what I’m so far away from and made me really sad.

It also reminded me that I am so, so lucky. I will never take my mom for granted again.

Tonight, I’ll have to settle for sleeping in her clothes and praying for her safety.

Hug your mamma’s tonight guys.

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1 Comment

Filed under Growing Pains, Life

One response to “I swear, I’ll stop it soon

  1. Daniel

    “Thanks for always being there for me no matter what, but now that you’re about to start the hardest part of your life so far, I’m going to go back to the new one I’m building 1,300 miles away.”

    I know it always feels different when your smack bang in the middle of such a situation, but remember that you’ve been there for you mom when it really mattered. That’s what being part of a family is all about….

    Of coarse I know nothing about you or your family, but I would think that your mom is the same as every other the world over… but better 😉

    I’m sure what would give her the greatest happiness is knowing that YOU are happy in whatever you are doing.

    Of coarse regular phone calls are a bonus!

    Now I’m off to bed, it’s 1.00am here and if I write mom any more in this comment I may start calling my mum mom mom mum mom.

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