I’ve decided it’s time to dust this old thing off. It’s been years since I’ve been here and I’m finding that, lately, I have a lot to say. Maybe it’s the age bracket I’ve grown into, but I feel like all the blogs I come across these days are mommy blogs. Don’t get me wrong — some of them are fantastic — but someone’s gotta represent us unmarried (but partnered!), childless, career ladies, right?
The truth is, I’m glad I put this thing on the shelf for a while. After my mom’s accident I went to an understandably dark place that was also completely boring to anyone who wasn’t either me or a close loved one.
After the accident I pretty much folded in on myself. I failed to make friends in my new town. I I stopped enjoying pretty much everything except sleeping. I dedicated myself 110% to work and became, frankly, completely boring. As a result, this blog became too much of a dirge.
I want things to be different this time, because I want things to be different in my life now.
Over the weekend my boyfriend (who is, I promise, not a jerk) informed me: “You are the most unsatisfied, successful person I know.” Not exactly a compliment, but a true reflection on where my head has been the last two and half years.
When I started this blog, I had just moved from a city I knew really well — too well — to a completely new place that honestly I continue to feel pretty ambivalent about. I still think composting is stupid unless you’re a farmer, and I still think the people here lack an edge that could make things more interesting.At the same time, I don’t exactly yearn for 100-million degree summers or want to ride the crazy train that my home state seems to be on.
In the “about me” section of this blog (which desperately needs to be re-written and which will have to wait until this weekend) 24-year-old me poses a question: did I just ruin my life, or save it?
The answer to both questions is no. I changed my life, but the intervening years have made me less dramatic, so I don’t think I can say I’m either ruined or saved. I’m just here.
But I’ve recently started running painfully long distances which means my brain is frequently completely flooded with endorphins which make me want to be a happier, more satisfied person.If nothing else, I’ll use this space to hold myself accountable to that goal. (Any co-workers reading this know how much I heart accountability…)
Well that and to share my masterful pie making experiences which is seriously worth sticking around for.